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Is it time?

We’ve all watched movies, read books and saw quotes saying how hard it is for someone to try again with anyone after being hurt by one person. I’ve always believed this theory was true, but I’ve recently realised that I myself haven’t tried with anyone else because of one persons actions towards me. 

This isn’t a post about a girl trying to get over someone. It’s far from that. I’m writing this post so people can relate to the difficulty of allowing yourself to open up and be with someone else after being hurt so badly.

Whether it was your first love, your husband, your childhood sweetheart and regardless of what age it happens at, it’s a pain you never seem to ever get rid of.

Although “time heals everything” sounds soothing to the ear, psychologically i think its far from the truth. All time does is allow you to get used to what happened and live with it, you never forget the pain or the feeling. Time doesn’t heal anything. Only you can allow yourself to heal.

Recently I admitted to myself that the reason I’ve never got in a relationship with anyone else is because of me. I am the reason I never went further with another boy. I’m the reason every time I feel strongly towards someone it ends. I’m the one who pushes someone away every time something good could happen.

And it’s because I am so scared to be hurt again. I know people will be cringing at this post, but I know I’m not the only girl or boy in the world, who’s mind tells them to push someone away and run at the first sign of attraction.

It’s a battle between my heart and my head. My head is viciously trying to leap forward, grab happiness with two giant hands, and hold onto something amazing, never letting go. Whilst my heart is attacking and winning the battle, flooding my head with loneliness one too many times.

It’s a cliché statement but unfortunately it’s true.

My advice to anyone who feels the same, and the advice to myself is to try. Go on that date. Talk to people. Take chances. Even if you aren’t ready yet, that one crappy date might make you see you will meet someone as amazing again. You will fall in love with someone again, and I’m pretty sure it will be a much better, stronger love than the first.

Just remember, you’re the only person not allowing yourself to be happy again. Don’t push the next person who likes you away. Give them a chance. They are not the boy who broke your heart and left you crying at 4am in the morning, wondering what you did wrong. They could even be the one you spend the rest of your life with.

So next time instead of fussing, just say yes to the guy. What have you got to lose?





Positive mind, positive life.

My mum always tells me about “the law of attraction”, a conversation I regularly shrug off my shoulders and tell her how much nonsense it is. But, in the past few months, I’ve began to really believe that it might not be all that silly a concept.

The law of attraction is the name given to the theory that by focusing on positive or negative thoughts, you bring positive or negative experiences into your life.

The theory goes on to develop the idea that you are responsible for events that happen in your own life, due to how you focus your attention. The law of attraction suggests that if you look for good in the things you do, you will have a positive experience.

In essence the theory allows an individual to have the control of how their future develops. Therefore if you want to gain something great out of an experience and are hopeful about it, the experience is likely to be positive.

For example if you focus your thoughts on being broke, poor and lonely and believe these thoughts, you will be just that.

So why have I suddenly started believing in the law of attraction?

Take me back 6 months ago, and I would compare myself to everyone. They’ve got more money and so can experience more than me, someone on my course is doing amazing work experience over summer whilst I’m working my same old retail job, someone’s happy with their boyfriend when I’m still single.

Back in October I went to a radio station to be an intern. I went in at 5am in the morning not really having a care in the world if I got the internship or not, which was very unusual for me. I sat there being questioned by the presenters and just thought to myself “I know I’m never coming back so why am I even here?”

Until recently, I’ve never really noticed that my negative energy towards the situation gave me a negative experience. When looking back, it was an amazing opportunity, which I should have grabbed with both hands.

But when I stopped looking at everything negatively and actually seriously wanting to reach goals, I started to achieve them. Just today, I’ve been accepted to be part of a research team for a new BBC three series.

Take me back to October and I never thought in my wildest dreams I would be writing that sentence. But, it’s so crazy that when I wrote out my cover letter, updated my CV, and sent my email to the producer, I sat there thinking “I know I’m going to get this.”

And so, I have started to believe that the law of attraction is a very real theory. Since I’ve had a positive outlook in everything I do, whether it be towards my relationships with people, my university work, my everyday life, I’ve began to see a massive change.

So tonight’s advice to anyone reading my blog? Positive mind equals a positive life.