We’ve all watched movies, read books and saw quotes saying how hard it is for someone to try again with anyone after being hurt by one person. I’ve always believed this theory was true, but I’ve recently realised that I myself haven’t tried with anyone else because of one persons actions towards me.
This isn’t a post about a girl trying to get over someone. It’s far from that. I’m writing this post so people can relate to the difficulty of allowing yourself to open up and be with someone else after being hurt so badly.
Whether it was your first love, your husband, your childhood sweetheart and regardless of what age it happens at, it’s a pain you never seem to ever get rid of.
Although “time heals everything” sounds soothing to the ear, psychologically i think its far from the truth. All time does is allow you to get used to what happened and live with it, you never forget the pain or the feeling. Time doesn’t heal anything. Only you can allow yourself to heal.
Recently I admitted to myself that the reason I’ve never got in a relationship with anyone else is because of me. I am the reason I never went further with another boy. I’m the reason every time I feel strongly towards someone it ends. I’m the one who pushes someone away every time something good could happen.
And it’s because I am so scared to be hurt again. I know people will be cringing at this post, but I know I’m not the only girl or boy in the world, who’s mind tells them to push someone away and run at the first sign of attraction.
It’s a battle between my heart and my head. My head is viciously trying to leap forward, grab happiness with two giant hands, and hold onto something amazing, never letting go. Whilst my heart is attacking and winning the battle, flooding my head with loneliness one too many times.
It’s a cliché statement but unfortunately it’s true.
My advice to anyone who feels the same, and the advice to myself is to try. Go on that date. Talk to people. Take chances. Even if you aren’t ready yet, that one crappy date might make you see you will meet someone as amazing again. You will fall in love with someone again, and I’m pretty sure it will be a much better, stronger love than the first.
Just remember, you’re the only person not allowing yourself to be happy again. Don’t push the next person who likes you away. Give them a chance. They are not the boy who broke your heart and left you crying at 4am in the morning, wondering what you did wrong. They could even be the one you spend the rest of your life with.
So next time instead of fussing, just say yes to the guy. What have you got to lose?